Sexuality jokes

20) With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good.
19) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
16) Good chocolate is easy to find.
15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
14) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
13) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
12) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
10) You can have chocolate on top of your desk during working hours without upsetting your coworkers.
9) The word 'commitment' doesn't scare off chocolate.
8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
6) You can have chocolate in front of your mother.
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
2) 'If you love me you'll swallow that' has real meaning with chocolate.
1) You can get chocolate.

Yo momma's so fat she has to polish her fingernails with a paint roller!

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard.

After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for.

The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending the poor creature rolling across the dash.

The monkey goes down between the drivers legs, unzips his pants, pulls out his unit and proceeds to give the trucker oral gratification.

When finished, the monkey pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up, puts everything back and jumps back up on the dashboard.

"See that?" said the trucker.

The man said, "Yeah."

The trucker ask the man, "You want to try it?"

The man said, "OK, but don't hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!"

Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over and to try to keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfrend will say tomato if she wants him to go slower and lettuce for him to go faster. As they begin to have sex, the girl starts to moan, "lettuce,lettuce, tomato, tomato!" The roommate on the bottom bunk wakes up the next morning and says, "Stop making sandwiches at night, you got mayonaise in my eye!"