Sexuality jokes

The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, 'If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.'

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, 'What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?!'

The kid smiles and says, 'I would be a bus driver!'

When they get up there, she says, 'I have to be honest with you, I'm a hooker.' The guy thinks about this for a short time and says it's okay. He agrees to pay her $25 and they start having sex.

After they finish, the guy says, 'I have to be honest with you now. I'm a cab driver and it'll cost you $25 for me to drive you back into town.'

Not to be outdone, my other friend pulled out a $50 bill. She called the guy back over, licked the $50 bill and stuck it on his other butt cheek.

Now the attention was focused on me. What could I do to top that? I got out my wallet and thought for a minute. Then the banker in me took over. I got my ATM card, swiped it down his crack, grabbed the 60 bucks, and went home.

He returned later that day to see what had happened to his car, and the mechanic told him, "It looks like you've blown a seal."

The penguin, chuckling, and wiping his beak replied, "No, I've just eaten some ice-cream."