Sexuality jokes

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Sexuality


a little boy wrote to santa ...
 
 
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
things couldn't be nurse
 
 
A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"

Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

The ward nurse passes by and sees the man getting a little distraught so she marches over to inquire what is wrong.

"Nurse," he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?"

Being a nurse she is undaunted. She whips back the bedclothes, pulls down his pajama trousers, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas, replaces the bedclothes and announces, "Nothing is wrong with them."

At this the man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again,

"Are my test results back?"

a bear was chasing a little rabbit...
 
 
A bear was chasing a little rabbit.

"Stop running and get back here!" yelled the bear.

"Never!" shouted the rabbit.

As the rabbit was running he tripped on a lamp. His soft furry foot brushed the lamp and out popped a genie.

The genie noticed the frightened rabbit was being chased by the bear.

The genie said to the bear,"Hey! If you stop chasing him I'll grant you and the rabbit both two wishes!"

The bear agreed and was so eager he jumped to go first. He said, "I wish that a had the biggest penis in the world!"

*Poof!* and his wish was granted.

The rabbit went next, "I wish I had a super fast motorcycle!"

*Poof* and the rabbit's wish was granted.

The bear looked at the rabbit and thought, "What a lame wish!"

For his final wish, the bear smirked as he wished that all the other bears in the world were female.

*Poof* his wish was granted.

The rabbit jumped on his motorcycle, revved the engine and laughed.

Just before he booked out of there he said, "I wish the bear was gay!"

the shakes
 
 
An old man and a old woman met at an retirement home. They had been dating for quite some time now and one day the old man asks, "If I pull out my penis, would you hold it?" The women agrees and so everyday they would sit on a bench in the garden and the woman would hold the man's penis. One day the woman went to the garden early and found the man with another woman. She approached the man and asked what the other woman has that she doesn't. The man replied gleefully "Parkinsons"!

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