Sexuality jokes

A bear was chasing a little rabbit.

"Stop running and get back here!" yelled the bear.

"Never!" shouted the rabbit.

As the rabbit was running he tripped on a lamp. His soft furry foot brushed the lamp and out popped a genie.

The genie noticed the frightened rabbit was being chased by the bear.

The genie said to the bear,"Hey! If you stop chasing him I'll grant you and the rabbit both two wishes!"

The bear agreed and was so eager he jumped to go first. He said, "I wish that a had the biggest penis in the world!"

*Poof!* and his wish was granted.

The rabbit went next, "I wish I had a super fast motorcycle!"

*Poof* and the rabbit's wish was granted.

The bear looked at the rabbit and thought, "What a lame wish!"

For his final wish, the bear smirked as he wished that all the other bears in the world were female.

*Poof* his wish was granted.

The rabbit jumped on his motorcycle, revved the engine and laughed.

Just before he booked out of there he said, "I wish the bear was gay!"

A blonde is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

What's the difference between boiling water and a woman?

You put a piece of meat in boiling water and it gets softer...

How are a blonde's legs like automatic doors?

You walk toward them and they open!