Sexuality jokes

Jokes » sexuality » jokes 237

Sexuality


the first lady's patriotic duties
 
 
What do George Bush's wife and the American flag have in common?
They both go down in the name of the president.
a little help from the shakes
 
 
There was a 40 year old man called Ian, and he had a girlfriend, Edna, who was 80 years old. They only saw each other on Saturdays. He would go to Edna's house every Saturday, without fail. They would sit down next to each other and Edna would hold Ian's penis, then Ian would go home after so long.

One week Ian never turned up, but Edna thought nothing of it. Three more weeks went by, and again Ian never turned up. By this time Edna was very concerned about him. She phoned him up and asked, "Where have you been the last four Saturdays?"

Ian replied, "I have been round at Margret's house."

Shocked Edna shouted, "MARGRET? She is 98 years old, what the hell has she got that I haven't?"
Ian answered, "Parkinson's desease!"

chucky at the movies
 
 
An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket agent asked, "Sir, what's that on your shoulder?"

The old farmer said, "That's my pet rooster Chucky, wherever I go, Chucky goes."

"I'm sorry sir.", said the ticket agent, "We don't allow animals in the theater."

The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.

The movie started and the rooster began to squirm. The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chucky could stick his head out and watch the movie.
"Marge", whispered Mildred.

"What", said Marge.

"I think this guy next to me is a pervert.", said Mildred.

"What makes you think that", asked Marge.

"He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out", whispered Mildred.

"Well, don't worry about it", said Marge, "At our age we've seen them all."

"I thought so", said Mildred, "But this one is eating my popcorn!"

heavy sack
 
 
Q: Why is Santa's sack so big?

A: He only comes once a year.


Page 238 of 265     «« Previous | Next »»