Sexuality jokes

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Sexuality


the devout catholic woman
 
 
Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies.

At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, "At last they're finally together."

A guy sitting in the front row says, "Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?"

"I mean her legs!"

a scottish tourist at his first baseball game...
 
 
A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....Run!"

The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"

A third batter hits a slam and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"

The next batter steadfastly holds his swing four times and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up and yells "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!"

All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers to the Scotsman, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."

After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"

froggie proposal
 
 
A man had a very small penis, so he went to a witch to make it longer. She said, “Go into the forest and ask the toad there to marry you, each time it says no, your penis will grow one inch.” Happy, the man ran to the forest and started yelling, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” The frog, of course, replied, “No,” andthe man's penis grew one inch. So he repeated this again, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” The frog yelled back, “NO!”
After a couple times more, the frog was getting mad, but the man decided one more time and one more inch wouldn't hurt, so he yelled again, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” And the exasperated frog said, “I've told you onceand I've told you a million times, no!”
you're so poor...christmas
 
 
Your'e so poor that if you didn't have a hard on when Christmas came, you wouldn't have anything to play with.

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