12- pack
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, 'Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.'
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The son then asks his father, 'What's the 6-pack for?'
The father replies, 'Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.'
Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, 'Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....'
act of god
The new minister's wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed and again the congregation approved the increase. Several years and five children later, the congregation was a bit upset over the increasing expenses. This turned into a rather loud meeting one night with the minister.
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Finally, the minister stood up and shouted "Having children is an Act of God!"
An older man in the back stood and shouted back "So are rain and snow, but we wear rubbers for them!"
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