Sexuality jokes

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Sexuality


america has finally captured saddam ...
 
 
America has finally captured Saddam Hussein!

They sprayed a field with Viagra, and the prick stood up!

soy toy
 
 
While going through his wife's dresser drawers, a farmer discovered three soybeans and an envelope containing $30 in cash. The farmer confronted his wife, and when asked about the curious items, she confessed:

"Over the years, I haven't been completely faithful to you."

"When I did fool around, I put a soybean in the drawer to remind myself of my indiscretion," she explained.

The farmer admitted that he had not always been faithful either, and therefore, was inclined to forgive and forget her few moments of weakness.

"I'm curious though," he said, "Where did the thirty dollars come from?"

"Oh that, " his wife replied, "Well, when soybeans hit ten dollars a bushel, I sold out!"

12- pack
 
 
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, 'Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.'

The son then asks his father, 'What's the 6-pack for?'

The father replies, 'Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.'

Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, 'Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....'

upholding the cloth
 
 
A priest wanted to convince a prostitute to turn respectable. So he met with her one day and began slowly warming up to her.

"Oh, my child," he said, "your dress is most lovely."

"Thank you, Father," she replied.

The radio was playing and they danced a little as they talked.

"Oh, my child," said the priest, "your conversation is most lovely."

"Thank you, Father," said the prostitute.

Finally, the priest sat her down and said, "Oh, my child, there is one thing I have against you."

And the prostitute said, "Yes, I know, Father. I felt it while we were dancing."


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