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The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, 'Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'
Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, 'I know how to make them larger!'
'How!?!?!?' she asks.
'Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.'
'Well how long does it take?' she asks.
'They should expand over the years,' he answers.
'How did you know that?' she wonders.
'I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?'
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Went up the hill
To smoke some marijuana
Jack got high
Pulled down his fly
And Jill said I don't wanna!
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After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
“He said you're going to die," she replied.
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