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Sexuality


mathematics
 
 
He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, 'Now that's addition.'
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, 'Now that's subtraction.'
Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation. And both together smiled and said, 'That's multiplication.'
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, 'That's long division!'
wedding night
 
 
A woman from Alabama, who knew absolutely nothing about sex, fell in love with a man and agreed to marry him. The honeymoon went well and was great fun, but as soon as she got home, she went to see her doctor to question him on some of the new things she'd seen.

"What can I help you with?' he asked.

'Well first, what is that thing between my husband's legs called?'

'Ma'am,' he answered, 'that there is called a penis.'

'I see,' she said. 'Now what is the big thing on the end of the penis called?'

'Why that there is called the head of the penis.'

'I do declare!' exclaimed the young woman. 'One last question doctor, what are those two big round things about 12 to 14 inches behind the head of the penis?'

'I'm not sure about your husband, ma'am, but on me, they're called the cheeks of my ass!'

smurfette
 
 
There were five thousand Smurfs, and one Smurfette, and she screwed each one seven times. Enter 5000+1 times 7 in a calculator to see what Smurfette was...
porcupines
 
 
Q: What do porcupines say after they kiss?

A: Ouch.


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