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--I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.
"I'm not used to these darts."
--I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am
this bombed.
"You get this one, next round is on me."
--We won't be here long enough to get another round.
"I'll get this one, next one is on you."
--Happy hour is about to end...now drafts are a dollar, but by the
next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.
"Lets get out of here."
--I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guy's helmet.
"Can I get a glass of white zinfindel?"
--I'm gay.
"Ever try a body shot?" (Male to female)
--I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick
you.
"I've had like 10 beers already."
--I've only had 3 but need an excuse to behave this way.
"Who's got the next round?"
--I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at
diverting attention.
"Excuse Me." (male to female)
--I am going to grope you now.
"I'm out of here, I have to work in the morning."
--I owe that guy who just walked in the door 100 bucks and have been
avoiding him since football season.
"What do you have on tap?"
--What's cheap?
"Can I just get a glass of water?"
--It's 6:00 am and I just stopped drinking 1/2 hour ago. Hell, I
probably dropped half of my paycheck in here last night, so it's the least you can do for
me.
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'Brothers and Sisters, I also understand that there have been some he'n and he'n goin' on. Those who are guilty, leave my presence.' So some embarrased men exited the church.
'Brothers and Sisters, I also understand that there have been some she'n and she'n going on. Those who are guilty, leave my presence.' So some women got up and exited the church. The preacher looked around and the only one left in the church was a little boy sittin' in the front pew. The preacher walked up to the boy.
'I would like to commend you for being such an upright, loyal Christian.'
'Hold up now preacher. If you had gotten down to some me'n and some me'n, I'd have to get up and leave too!'
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(o)(o) perfect breasts
( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts
(*)(*) high nipple breasts
(@)(@) big nipple breasts
o o a cups
{ O }{ O } d cups
(oYo) wonder bra breasts
( ^ )( ^ ) cold breasts
(o)(O) lopsided breasts
(Q)(O) pierced breasts
(p)(p) breasts with tassled pasties
\o/\o/ Grandma's breasts
( - )( - ) flat against the shower door breasts
|oo| android breasts
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"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong.
"Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you're telling me now that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in!"
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