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The other boy said, "My mom said that if I were to ever see a naked woman I would turn to stone. Then I felt something get very hard so I ran."
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Dad replied 'That's Grandpa!"
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Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
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He is driving to his destination, and he sees a sign that says 'Church of Latter-Day Saints Whorehouse -- 10 miles.' He thinks to himself, 'I'll just ignore it or my wife will leave me.' There is a sign for it every mile, so he finally breaks down and goes where the sign says to go. He knocks on the door of the whorehouse and a nun comes to the door. The man says, 'Where can I get a whore?'
The nun says, 'I'll need $500 first.' The man says okay and pays, then asks about his whore again. The nun replies, 'We will need another $100.' The man pays then asks for his whore again. The nun says 'Okay, see that hallway. Wait for 15 minutes. Go straight, left, straight, right and you'll see a door.'
He follows the directions, walks out the door and finds himself in the parking lot. His car has a sign on it that says, 'Congrats. You have just been screwed by the Church of Latter-Day Saints.'
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