Blonde jokes

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Blonde


the blonde's special order
 
 
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice cream parlor together. The brunette went up and asked for a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The counter man was confused, but gave her a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream.

The redhead went up and asked for a single dip of vanilla ice cream with Pepsi poured over it. The man was really confused now. But he gave the redhead her order.

The blonde was listening to the other two women and thought that she should have a 'special order' too. So she went up and asked for an extra-large root beer, but hold the roots.

blonde and genie
 
 
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish.

The redhead went first. 'I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!'
"Okay,' replied the genie. And off she went.

Then the brunette went. 'I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!!'
And off she went.

The blonde started crying and said, 'I wish my friends were back here!'

the blonde and her melons
 
 
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.

The guy asks, 'What are you carrying?'

'Melons,' the blonde replies.

'Cool," the guy says. "If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?'

The blonde giggles and says, 'If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them.'

comfortable
 
 
Two sisters, a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."


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