Blonde jokes

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Blonde


blonde on fire
 
 
A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"

The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"

The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"

three blondes
 
 
There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, 'Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?' So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.

Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry, she said to herself, 'Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?' She stood there, just thinking about it.

Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, 'Knock on wood I'm not as stupid as the other two!' She knocked the table. 'Was that the front door or the back door?'

captured blonde
 
 
A blonde woman and a red-headed woman are taken hostage by terrorists. The women are taken to a remote island and put before a firing squad. But first, the terrorists ask the red-headed woman if she has any last words.

The red-head points and says, “Twister!” The terrorists ran in all different directions and the red-headed woman gets away.

When they realize what has happened, the come back and to where the blonde woman is still standing, and they ask her if she has any last words. She points and says, “Fire!”

rocks and blondes
 
 
What do rocks and dumb blondes have in common?

You skip 'em when they're flat.


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