Sexuality jokes

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Sexuality


thank you for flying with us
 
 
A 747 was starting its descent and the pilot had forgotten to turn off the P.A. system.

'As soon as I clock off' he said, 'I'm going to have a nice cold beer and then screw the arse off that blonde flight attendant.' The horrified flight attendant made a dash toward the cockpit, but tripped over in the aisle.

A little old lady sitting there whispered, 'There's no need to hurry love, he said he was going to have a beer first.'

bring your daughter to work day
 
 
A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?"

Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and is very efficient."

"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch."

the annual check-up
 
 
After his annual checkup, Bob is shocked to learn that he has somehow contracted a rare disease and has only twelve hours to live. Arriving home in utter despair, he tells his wife the terrible news and begins to cry. Overcome with grief, Helen hugs him tight and says, "Honey, I'm going to give you a night you'll never forget!"

They go to bed early and make passionate love with an ardor they haven't felt in years. When they're done, Bob turns to his wife and says, "Honey, that was *wonderful,* the best we've ever had. Can we do it again?" This time it's even more passionate. Later, as Helen is about to doze off, Bob gives her a nudge and says, "Honey, come on. How about one more time?"

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have to get up in the morning!"

pickmeup
 
 
I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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