Sexuality jokes

A man at a retirement home was walking around with his zipper down holding his penis.

A young nurse says "Why are you doing that?"

He replies,"It died today."

"Oh that's terrible!", the nurse replied

The next day the man has his penis hanging outside of his pants again.

The same nurse says, "I thought it died yesterday."

The man replies, "It did. Today is the viewing"

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, 'Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 'God Almighty !' shouted Mary and the teacher said, 'Very good' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'Jesus Christ!' shouted Mary and the teacher said, 'Very good,' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, 'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!' The Teacher fainted.

A frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a glass of wine. The frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well.

The frenchie asks the landlord, "What is that dirty camel doing in here?"

The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure.

The Landlord looks at the frenchie and says "You want a go?" to which the frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the head."

Why can't you hear bunnies having sex?

Because they have cotton balls.