Sexuality jokes

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Sexuality


after the honeymoon...
 
 
A couple has returned from their honeymoon and it was obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what's wrong.

"Well," replied the man "when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"

The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over this though: She gave me $20 change!'

easter egg hunt
 
 
Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?

Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken.
magic watch
 
 
A man walks into a bar next to an extremely hot girl and immediately looks at his watch.
She says, 'Is your date late or something'
He says, 'No I just got this magic watch'.
"What does your watch do that is so amazing?" asked the lady.
"It tells me what is happening."
"What does it say now asked the lady."
"It says you're not wearing panties."
"Well your watch is wrong, I do have panties on."
"Sorry, my watch is one hour fast."
the dirty wife
 
 
A wife decides that she needs to spice up her and her husband's sex life. So, she goes to the adult novelty store and came back with some crotchless panties.

She goes home, puts them on and waits for her husband to come home. When he does, she lifts up her dress and shows him her new panties, asking, "You want some of this?"

"Hell no," says the husband, "look what it did to your underwear!"


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