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One week Ian never turned up, but Edna thought nothing of it. Three more weeks went by, and again Ian never turned up. By this time Edna was very concerned about him. She phoned him up and asked, "Where have you been the last four Saturdays?"
Ian replied, "I have been round at Margret's house."
Shocked Edna shouted, "MARGRET? She is 98 years old, what the hell has she got that I haven't?"
Ian answered, "Parkinson's desease!"
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The bartender asked what happened.
The sailor said, "My boat sank. I was adrift for 3 days when I saw a mermaid."
She said, "I will grant you three wishes."
The sailor continued, "I wished there was a boat and suddenly I heard 'toot toot' for there was a boat on the horizon. Then I wished I looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I did."
Then I said, "I wish you would give me a little head."
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A: A drug dealer can't clean his crack and re-sell it!
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