Sexuality jokes

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Sexuality


made in canada
 
 
A Canadian was in France, out of his wallet he removed a stick of gum he had from the airport in Canada, and started to chew it. He walked into a French coffee shop and sat himself beside an English speaking French man.
Frenchman: In Canada, what do you do with your used tires?
Canadian: We send em to France to get turned into paper plates.
French man: What do you do with your used plastic bags?
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) We send em to France to get turned into a gold ring. Hey, what do you do with your used comdoms?
French man: we send em to Canada to get turned into bubble gum.
the man with no voice
 
 
One night, a man with no voice and his friend went to a bar. The men at the bar wanted to know what he would like in a woman. He pointed to his head. His friend explained that he wanted a smart woman. Then, he rubbed his thumb on the palm of his hand. His friend explained that he wanted a woman with money. Then, he opened his hands wide, bent his fingers, and made them cupped. He bounced them under his chest. His friend looked at him kinda wierd.

"What the heck do you want a woman with arthritis for?"

potato in the pants
 
 
James was on the beach, and could not understand why Bob had attracted all the girls, while he had no luck. So he asked Rich "why do you get all the girls and I get nothing?"

Bob replied "take a potato and tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!"

So James stuffed a potato in his suit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later, he still had no woman.

James went to see Bob again and said "I've tried the potato and it doesn't work!"

Bob looked at James and asked, "have you tried putting the potato in the front?"

why god created man
 
 
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.

"Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you created me and all of this beautiful garden and all of these amazing animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a man, Lord?" "Man will be a flawed creature, with many wreteched traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.

But... he'll be bigger, stronger, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll make him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.

He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds wonderful!" says Eve, " but what's the catch, Lord?"

Well... you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret... You know, woman to woman."


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