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'What the hell is going on?' he says.
'I'm having a heart attack!!'
So he runs down stairs, and picks up the phone to dial 911. But as he is doing this, his four-year-old son, comes running up to him and says, 'Dad, Uncle Tommy is up stairs, hiding in your closet, and he's naked' So he slams the phone down, and runs upstairs, to find his own brother, in the closet.
The man, then says. 'What the hell are you doin? My wife is having a heart attack, and your here running around naked, scaring the kids? You shoud be ashamed of yourself!"
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A: You never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last.
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"Okay, how many of you have seen a ghost?" About 30% of the class puts their hand up.
"Okay, how many of you have actually touched a ghost?" About 10% of the class puts their hand up.
"Okay, how many of you have had sex with a ghost?" Dead silence, until a little redneck boy in the back row puts up his hand.
"You've actually had sex with a ghost?"
"Ghost? Oh. I thought you said goat!"
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"If you could cook," said the husband, "we could fire the chef."
"If you could screw," replied the wife, "we could fire the driver."
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