Men And Women jokes

1. Women got off the Titanic first.
2. Women can scare bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Women can be groupies. Men groupies are called "stalkers."
4. Women can cry and get off speeding tickets.
5. Taxis stop for women.
6. Free dinners, free drinks, free movies. Do the math.
7. A new lipstick can give a woman a whole new lease on life.
8. No one has to know if a woman forgets to shave.
9. Women can congratulate their teammates without ever touching their rear.
10. Women never regret piercing their ears.

A southern girl returned home after a summer with her grandparents in Ohio. Her friends asked her what she learned on her trip.
"Well, they have these men up there who like other men."
"Ooh. What are they called?"
"They call them gay."
"What else did you learn?"
"Well, they have these women who like other women."
"Ooh. What are they called?"
"They call them lesbians."
"Did you learn anything else?"
"Yes. They have these men who lick women in their most private parts."
"Ooh. What do they call them?"
"I don't know, but when he was done, I called him 'Precious.'"

A young girl and her boyfriend are driving down the road one day. Her boyfriend suggests that they play road games and that whoever loses has to strip. They play every game known to man and the girl loses every time. Soon she is bare naked. The boy takes a long look and runs off the road. They slide into a tree and the boy is trapped in the car. He yells to his girlfriend, 'Quick, go get help!'

She says, 'I can't, I'm naked.'

He hands her a shoe to cover with. Desperately she covers her 'lower parts' and runs to the road. She flags down a truck driver and yells, 'Help me, my boyfriend is stuck.'

The truck driver replies,'Honey, if he's that far gone, I don't think we can get him out again!'

Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?

Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.