Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


first day out
 
 
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital.

"How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"

the shooting
 
 
An old lady's husband had just died and she felt their was no reason to live anymore. She called the doctor and asked excactly where her heart was. He told her it should be under her left breast.

That night she went to the emergency room with a shot in the knee.

dogs and dem womenfolk
 
 
What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman yelling on the back porch?
The dog quits barking when you let it in!
dirty limerick
 
 
A man comes home to his wife, and he is chuckling. His wife asks him what is so funny.

'A limerick I heard today at work. But I can't tell you,' he says. 'It's too dirty.'

'Don't worry, I've heard them all,' she replies.

'I really can't, it's the dirtiest limerick that I have ever heard!'

'OK,' his wife says. 'How about you tell it, but substitute the word 'beep' in the place of the really dirty words.'

'Fine,' he says. 'Here goes: Beep beep-beep beep beep-beep beep beep, beep beep-beep beep beep-beep beep beep. Beep-beep beep beep beep, beep-beep beep beep beep, beep beep-beep beep beep-beep beep.'


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