Men And Women jokes

Belts. Women use belts an an accessory, guys use belts to perch their pants precariously on their crack.
Hats. Same deal. Do women need them? No. Why? Because there is a choice, when you are having a bad hair day, you can (A) Spend 45 minutes in the bathroom dousing your hair with chemicals and goos, or (B) Toss on a hat to cover up the nasty hair.
Socks. Guys wear white gymsocks, females have to go and wear pink and purple frilly puffy socks. Socks thinner than public restroom toilet paper. I mean c'mon ladies, when you're wearing pants does the color or the socks really matter?
Bracelets. Who thought up these things? These are worse than Minesweeper for wasting time. You can jingle them, and you can play with them, they aren't good for much else!
Creams/Lotions/Oinments. Why do females have 19 different exfoliation creams? I mean c'mon, it just clutters up the countertop in the bathroom. A guy's bathroom: soap, razor, shaving cream, deoderant, and some tough actin' Tinactin. A woman's, oh God. I wont even get into that.

A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible rush. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."

"You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."

The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."

A woman and a man got into a really bad car accident. Both cars are totaled, but luckily no one was hurt.

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, "Wow, just look at our cars! They are destroyed. Fortunately, we aren't hurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God! "

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.... My car is completely ruined but this bottle of wine didn't break. It's a sign that God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she handed the bottle to the man. The man agreed, opened the bottle and drank half, and then handed it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.

The man asked, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replied, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police"

Q: What's a 68?

A: You do me and I owe you!