Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


rent
 
 
A man decided to spend the night with a prostitute. When it was over she told him to pay $500. He said he'd send it to her in an envelope marked 'Rent for Apartment.' The next day, however, he regretted that he spent the night with her and sent only $250. When she wrote him a letter asking why he didn't pay full price, he wrote her a memo saying:
1. I thought the apartment had not been used before.
2. It did not have adequate heating.
3. It was too large to properly furnish.

A few days later the prostitute sent him another letter saying:
1. You should have known the apartment had been rented previously.
2. The apartment did have adequate heating. You just didn't know how to turn it on.
3. The apartment was the perfect size. You just didn't have large enough furniture to fill it.

valentine gift test
 
 
Which Valentine's Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive....

1. Candy
2. Flowers
3. A sweet poem
4. Sex
5. Dinner/Dancing
6. Waffle iron

1. CANDY

It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR... You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love.

2. FLOWERS

It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR... You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die.

3. A SWEET POEM

It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR... You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word.

4. SEX

It means that... You are a passionate soul, a free spirit who is not afraid to express your sexuality with another consenting adult and feel that the physical side of love can be meaningful and beautiful. OR... You're a filthy degenerate who is no better than a rutting animal living solely for one carnal experience after another.

5. DINNER/DANCING

It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR... You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor.

6. WAFFLE IRON

It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR... You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving kitchen appliances.

man and life savers
 
 
Q: What's the difference between a man and a pack of Life Savers?

A: The man doesn't come in five different flavors!

a man's logic
 
 
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"

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