Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


grandpa the nudist
 
 
A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.

The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"

garden of eden
 
 
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called "woman."

God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give love and compassion whenever needed."

Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?"

God said, "An arm and a leg."

Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"

three men and a genie
 
 
Three men were walking down a street and found a bottle laying on the side of the road. They picked it up and a genie popped out. The genie said, 'You will each get one wish.'

The first man wished he was 20 times smarter. The genie made him 20 times smarter. The second man wished he was 30 times smarter. The genie made him 30 times smarter. The last man wished he was 60 times smarter.

The genie turned him into a woman.

martian sex
 
 
It's the year 2389, and martian and earth couples are living peacably side by side. One day, an earth couple and a martian couple are having lunch and the subject of sex comes up. Because the earth couple has so many questions, the couples decide to swap partners for a week. A little later, the martian man and the earthwoman are alone in a bedroom, getting undressed. When the martian is naked, the woman is surprised that his penis is only 1/2 inch long and a 1/2 inch wide.

"Hold on," says the martian, who slaps his face, which makes his penis grow longer with each snap. "Oops, it's not wide enough yet." He pulls his ears, and with each tug, his penis grows wider. "All set!" he says, and the martian and the woman have incredible, mind-blowing sex. Later, the woman meets up with her husband, and asks him how it was.

"Well, it was fine. But I have a headache now because she kept pulling my ears and slapping my face."


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