Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


a helpful man
 
 
A man is driving down the road and notices a car in the ditch. He doesn't usually help many people so he drives on by. Then he notices that a pretty woman is the driver so he goes back to help.

As he is hooking his truck to her car he says, "You know, you are the first pregnant woman I've ever helped out of a ditch."

"But I'm not pregnant," she says.

"Well, you're not out of the ditch yet," he says.

bulimic digits
 
 
What does a bulimic call two fingers?

Dessert.

oenophilia
 
 
Men are like a fine grape. They are best kept in the dark. They can't handle too much heat. They perform best when they are stepped on. Women are like the wine that comes from the grape. They are sweet, vigorous, and full-bodied when they are young. They don't age well without preservatives. They become sour and vinegary as they age.
unlikely
 
 
Last 10 Things a Man Would Say:
10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool dude.
9. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
8. I think hairy armpits are really sexy.
7. Her breasts are just too big.
6. Sometimes I just want to be held.
5. That chick on 'Murder She Wrote' gives me a woody.
4. Sure, I'd love to wear a condom.
3. We haven't been to the mall in ages. Let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
2. Screw Monday Night Footbal! Let's watch Lifetime.
1. I think we're lost. Let's pull over and ask for directions.

The Last 10 Things a Woman Would Ever Say
10. Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of being just friends.
9. Go ahead and leave the seat up. It's easier for me to douche that way.
8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7. Hey…get a whiff of that one.
6. Please don't throw away that old T-shirt. The holes in the armpits are just too cute.
5. This diamond is way too big!
4. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
3. Wow! It really is 14 inches long.
2. Does this make my butt look too small?
1. I'm wrong, you must be right again.


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