Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


i break with thee
 
 
What's the perfect break-up present to send someone for Valentine's Day?

A copy of "Sex for Dummies."

here, piggy, piggy
 
 
An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs, and every morning the farmer would head out to feed them. And every morning, he would see all the pigs screwing up a storm. He would get turned on by this and try to get back to the house in time to screw his wife -- but he always got soft before he got there. So one day, he took his hatchet and headed out to the pig pen.

"No!" said his wife. "Don't kill those pigs!"

"I'm not going to kill them. I'm moving the pen closer to the house."

undertakers rule the roost
 
 
What did one undertaker say to the other?

Pass me another cold one!

poor couple
 
 
A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, 'I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.'

The woman replied, 'Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?'

The man replied, 'No, I'm turning the heat off.'


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