Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


talking sex
 
 
Why is it when a man talks nasty to a women it's sexual harassment.

But when a women talks nasty to a man it's $3.99 a minute.

who's the boss?
 
 
A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.

As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I can't wear your trousers." she said.

"That's right,' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

"Hell," he said. 'I can't get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."

hide the duke
 
 
A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who was sitting underneath the boy's chair. Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but audible, fart.

"Duke!" the dad yelled.

"This is great!" the boy thought. "He thinks the dog is farting!" So he let out another one.

"Duke!" the father barked. The boy thought he was homefree so he let everything out at once in a really loud and smelly fart.

"Duke! Get out of there before the boy sh*ts on you!"

if you could!
 
 
An affluent couple gets into an argument over dinner.

"If you could cook," said the husband, "we could fire the chef."

"If you could screw," replied the wife, "we could fire the driver."


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