Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


the eve of creation
 
 
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?" God asks her.

"Lord," she says, "I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples," she says.

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you," the good Lord tells her.

"What's a 'man', Lord?" she inquires.

"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressivetendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?" she asks.

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

that's crazy
 
 
Did you here about the 80 lbs. man with the 40 lbs. testicles?

They say he was half nuts.

golfer goes to the emergency room
 
 
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. "That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours!"

wife vs. job
 
 
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?

A: After 10 years, the job still sucks....

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