Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


speaking man-ish ii
 
 

A WOMAN'S GUIDE
WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING
WHILE SHOPPING:

YES, THAT ONE'S NICE.
Why do you ask when you aren't going to listen anyway?

THAT ONE LOOKS GREAT ON YOU.
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

I LIKE THAT ONE BETTER.
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

UH-HUH.
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

Zzzzz Zzz Zzz Zzzzz . . . . . . . .
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

I DON'T THINK THAT BLOUSE AND THAT SKIRT GO WELL TOGETHER.
I'm gay

IT MAKES YOU LOOK FAT.
I'm really stupid!

premarital test
 
 
A guy decides it's time he got married. He gives each of his current girlfriends $1,000. One spends $200 on clothes and puts $800 in the bank. Second spends $800 on clothes and puts $200 in the bank. Third puts the whole $1,000 in the bank. Which one did he marry? The one with the big boobs.
like father like son
 
 
One day a man walked in on his son masturbating. He said, "Now son, if you don't stop masterbuting, you'll go blind!" The son replies, "Hey dad! I'm over here!"
double entendres out the wazoo
 
 
There was a boss who was told by his boss that he had to get rid of at least one employee. So he narrowed the decision to one of two new employees, Jack or Mary.

He then decided to speak to each one privately, and let their reactions help guide his decision. So he called in Jack, explained the situation and, of course, Jack said he didn't want to lose his job, but he understood the boss's situation.

Then he called in Mary, and said, 'Mary, I've got a problem; By the end of the day, I've got to lay you or Jack off...' And Mary says, 'Then you're gonna have to jack off, buster, I've got a headache!'


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