Men And Women jokes

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said. "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?"

"Tarzan check for bees."

A blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if the store carries extra-large condoms. "Yes we do," he says. "Would you like to buy some?" "No," she replies. "But do you mind if I wait around until someone does?"

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor. The witch doctor throws some herbs on a fire, shakes his rattle, and says, "I have placed a powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year. Just say ‘one, two, three' and you'll get the largest erection you've ever had. After your wife's been satisfied, simply say ‘one, two, three, four' and it will disappear for 12 months." Later that night as the man is lying in bed watching television, he says to his wife, "Watch this! One, two, three!" His schlong becomes larger and stiffer than ever before. His wife is amazed. She smiles and says, "That's great! But what did you say ‘one, two, three' for?"

God was talking to Adam one day when Adam begins to lament. "God I'm lonely, I need a companion?" God replies, "Adam, I have the perfect person for you, she's beautiful, she's generous, and she'll be yours forever" "Adam, excited about the news begins to thank God over and over.sound great, but then stops and asks God, "Wait a minute, how much is she going to cost me?" "An arm and a leg," God replied jokingly. "That's pretty steep" said Adam, "What can I get for a rib?"