Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


golfer goes to the emergency room
 
 
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. "That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours!"

top 10 benefits of being a woman
 
 
  1. Women got off the Titanic first.
  2. Women can scare bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
  3. Women can be groupies. Men groupies are called "stalkers."
  4. Women can cry and get off speeding tickets.
  5. Taxis stop for women.
  6. Free dinners, free drinks, free movies. Do the math.
  7. A new lipstick can give a woman a whole new lease on life.
  8. No one has to know if a woman forgets to shave.
  9. Women can congratulate their teammates without ever touching their rear.
  10. Women never regret piercing their ears.
women pass less gas
 
 
Why do women pass less gas than men?

Because women don't keep their mouths shut long enough to build up pressure!

your profession and your libido
 
 
A women is getting married for her fourth time around. On her honeymoon she asks her husband to be gentle because she is still a virgin. When hears this he asks, 'How can that be you've been married three times before?" “She answers, "Okay, let me explain. My first husband was a gynecologist, all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychologist, all he wanted to do was talk about it. My third husband was a gourmet..."

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