what men want
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() | ||||
- More beer. More cheese. More sex.
- Vitamin fortified cigars.
- Public beer fountains.
- Kitty catapults.
- All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters.
- Wet T-shirt Fridays.
- Replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors.
- Rocket boots.
- Machine gun camp.
- NASA space shuttle races.
- Sledgehammer boxing.
- Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind, and delete arguments.
- Congressional pie fights.
- Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero.
- More beer. More cheese. More sex.
- Tomahawk missile surf boards.
- Hot tub jury boxes.
- Nacho cheese lipstick.
- Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs.
- New TV shows: PBS' The BBQ Hour, Total Kung-Fu Live, and America's Funniest Farts.
- 24-hour, on call UN negotiator for when you stumble home late, drunk, with lipstick stains on your collar.
- More beer. More cheese. More sex.
- Condoms that whistle, whir, and honk when used.
- Inflatable sex dolls who cook.
- Beef jerky business cards.
- Combination briefcase/pizza oven.
- National Make-Out with Cheerleaders Day.
- Art museums dedicated to framing copy-machine faxes of asses.
- Robot gloves for crushing kegs of beer.
- Karaoke "ejector" stages.
- Opera glasses that broadcast ESPN.
- The Astronaut Reserves.
- Porno without all the "talking" filler.
- Head banging elevated to "fine art".
- All money spent on women tax deductible!
- Free BBQ buffet at the DMV.
- Passports to Margaritaville.
- The ability to telepathically force anyone to belch on the spot.
- One "Get Out of the Doghouse" card.
true football fan
Recently, I was at a professional football game supporting my favorite team. My seat wasn't the greatest, so when i noticed a vacant seat on the fifty yard line 10 rows up, I headed towards it. I asked the man sitting next to it if the seat was taken. He replied, "No".
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() | ||||
I started talking to the man and I learned he owned the seat I was in. He said, "My wife use to love to come to these games until she died."
"Why didn't you give this seat away to a friend?" I asked.
He replied, "Because they are all at her funeral."
Page 55 of 229 «« Previous | Next »»
Read more: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 | 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 | 101 | 102 | 103 | 104 | 105 | 106 | 107 | 108 | 109 | 110 | 111 | 112 | 113 | 114 | 115 | 116 | 117 | 118 | 119 | 120 | 121 | 122 | 123 | 124 | 125 | 126 | 127 | 128 | 129 | 130 | 131 | 132 | 133 | 134 | 135 | 136 | 137 | 138 | 139 | 140 | 141 | 142 | 143 | 144 | 145 | 146 | 147 | 148 | 149 | 150 | 151 | 152 | 153 | 154 | 155 | 156 | 157 | 158 | 159 | 160 | 161 | 162 | 163 | 164 | 165 | 166 | 167 | 168 | 169 | 170 | 171 | 172 | 173 | 174 | 175 | 176 | 177 | 178 | 179 | 180 | 181 | 182 | 183 | 184 | 185 | 186 | 187 | 188 | 189 | 190 | 191 | 192 | 193 | 194 | 195 | 196 | 197 | 198 | 199 | 200 | 201 | 202 | 203 | 204 | 205 | 206 | 207 | 208 | 209 | 210 | 211 | 212 | 213 | 214 | 215 | 216 | 217 | 218 | 219 | 220 | 221 | 222 | 223 | 224 | 225 | 226 | 227 | 228 | 229