Men And Women jokes

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taliban poetic justice
 
 
My answer to "What to do with Bin Laden?" Well, this sounds good to me. It would be true poetic justice:

Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release. Therefore, I suggest we do neither.

Let the Secret Service, Navy Seals, or whomever covertly capture him, fly him to an undisclosed hospital, and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation.

Then we return "her" to Afghanistan to live as a woman under the Taliban.

social security
 
 
An old man went to the social security office to sign up.
He had stood in the line for a very long time until it was finally his turn. The lady behind the counter ask him for identification. He went to get his wallet out of his back pocket and relized he had left it at home. The lady told him that was alright he could just show her his chest hairs and if they were grey she knew he was old enough for social security.

After everything was done there he went home and told his wife how his day went. He told her that he had forgotten his wallet at home and the lady at the social security office just ask him to pull down the front of his shirt and she could tell he was old enough.

After listening to his story his wife told him if he had dropped his pants he probably could have gotten disability too.

chastity belt for the crusader's wife
 
 
A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, "If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life."

So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend. "What's wrong?' " he asks.

"You gave me the wrong key!"

math fun
 
 
Add the beds, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and I'll multiply!

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