Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


do it like mammals
 
 
A woman goes to see a psychiatrist. "Doctor," she says, "my husband just doesn't satisfy me sexually anymore." "Hmm," replies the doctor. "Have you considered taking a lover?" "I did that," she says, "and I'm still not getting enough sex to satisfy me." "How about taking another lover?" "I keep trying that. I have seven lovers plus my husband, but I still can't seem to get enough." "My goodness," says the doctor, "you're quite an anomaly." "Oh, thank God," says the woman. "Will you please tell them I'm an anomaly? They all keep calling me a slut."
the long way home
 
 
Two sperm are swimming in a women's body.

One sperm says to the other in exhaustion, "Whew, just how far is the uterus anyway?"

The second sperm begins to laugh and says, "The uterus!? We just passed the esophagus."
stumbling and mumbling
 
 
A drunk stumbles out of a bar one night and passes a woman walking her dog. The man stops her and asks, "Hey where'd ya get the pig?" The woman replies, "Listen you drunken bastard, that's a dog not a pig." The man then said, "Take it easy, I was talking to the dog"
inseparable
 
 
Me and my wife are almost inseparable, why just last week it took four state troopers and a dog to tear us apart!

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