Men And Women jokes

Not everyone's been on the internet!

Julie: I think I should warn you Ted, I've got acute angina

Ted: You're breasts aren't bad either.

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.

She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

The best man says, 'Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited.'

The groom replies, 'I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.'

The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face.

The maid of honor notices this and says, 'Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited.'

The bride replies 'I have just given the last blow job of my entire life.'