Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


material safety data sheet
 
 
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 118lbs., known to vary from 110 to 550lbs.
Occurence: Copious quantities throughout the world.
Physical properties:
  1. Surface usually covered with a painted field and a variety of esthers.
  2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
  3. Melts when given special treatment.
  4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
  5. Found in states varying from virgin metal to common ore.
  6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points.
Chemical properties:
  1. Has a genuine affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
  2. Absorbs great quantities of attention.
  3. VOLATILE: May explode without warning for no apparent reason.
  4. Insoluble in water, but activity greatly increased with alcohol.
Most common uses:
  1. Primarily ornamental, especially in sports cars.
  2. Found to be a great aid to relaxation.
Tests:
  1. Pure specimen turns rosey pink when discovered in its natural state.
  2. Turns green when placed next to a fresher specimen.
Hazards:
  1. Hard to retain when left in inexperienced hands.
  2. Illegal (not to mention deadly) to possess more than one at a time.
logic prevails
 
 
A man had a habit of buying things immediately after reading the ads about the products in the paper. Naturally, his wife was not too happy about it. One day the man read an ad about a sale on steel-belted radial tires. He jumped up, exclaiming that he would quickly buy four tires while the sale was on. The wife complained, "I don't know what's wrong with you. You are going to buy four expensive tires when you've got a crappy old car?"

The man replied, "Don't make such a big deal about it! I don't complain when you buy new bras, do I?"

ladies first
 
 
Q: How do you keep a man from drowning?

A: Take your foot off his head!

losing a husband
 
 
Losing a husband can be hard.

In my case, it was almost impossible.


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