Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


eyes wide shut
 
 
Why do women have sex with their eyes closed?

Because they can't stand seeing a man having a good time!

egg donor
 
 
One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it.

"Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad.

"But what about the 10,000 dollars?"

"Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."

spell l-o-v-e
 
 
A man came in to heaven and God wanted to go on a vacation so he asked the man to take over while he was away. God told the man to give everyone a test before letting them into heaven. God leaves and a man comes floating up and says, 'Please let me in to heaven.'

The other man says, 'I have to give you a test first.'

The man coming into heaven says, 'Oh jeez I'm not too good at tests!'

The other man says, 'Spell LOVE' The man spells it, and he is let into heaven.

Then a woman comes floating up and says, 'Please let me into heaven,' and the man replies, 'Only if you pass this test.'

The woman says, 'Oh no, I'm not very good at tests.'

The man says, 'Your test is to spell LOVE.'

She spells it correctly, and is let into heaven.

The next person that comes floating up is the man's wife. She says, 'OK honey, let me in to heaven.'

The man says, 'I have to give everyone a test before I let them in to heaven.'

She says, 'OK, make it an easy one!!!'

Then the man says, 'Spell Hemorrhoid.'

take what you want
 
 
One day Ed, known for always being broke and shabby, walks into his regular bar. One of the other regulars, noticing his new clothes and brand new Harley Davidson asked him where he got it. Ed, with a big, proud smile on his face explained: "I was walking to the grocery store, when all of a sudden a girl rode up on this shining new Harley. She got off her bike, threw off all of her clothes and said 'take what you want.' So I did."

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