Men And Women jokes

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma'am,” said the cop, “I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home,” responded the Amish lady.

“That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. Have your husband take care of that right away!” instructed the cop.

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.

“Well, dear, what exactly did he say?” asked Jacob.

“He said the reflector is broken,” replied the lady.

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?” wondered Jacob.

“I'm not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake,” said the lady.

There was once a man whose wife had gone for a vacation. When she comes back from vacation and starts reorganizing her wardrobe, the wife finds that there are two panties in her dresser which do not belong to her. Seeing this, she gets very angry and calls her husband and asks him , "Whose panties are these?" Taken aback, he replies, "I have no idea"' She gets really irritated and asks him to tell the truth, and then calls the maid. She questions the maid and asks her who these panties belong to. The maid replies, 'Madam, how do I know? These panties don't belong to me. I don't wear panties, you can ask Sir, he knows it.'

You are so bald, that when you wear a turtleneck, you look like a broken condom.

A man was sitting next to a very attractive woman on an airplane. To start conversation, he asked her what kind of men she was interested in. Her first choice was American Indian men, since they're so rugged. After that she said that Jewish men were pretty attractive too. Not belonging to either of those categories, the man asked if there were any other kinds of men she liked to date. She thought for a moment and then said Southern men, because they're so gentlemanly. At this point, she realized she didn't know the man's name.

"Well, my name's Geronimo Bernstein, but my friends call me Bubba."