Men And Women jokes

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home now Mother of Six?"

His wife, finally fed up with her husband, shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.

When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."

James Bond walks intoa bar and takes a seat next to an attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks down at his watch. The woman next to him asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replied, "Q's just given me this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it." Intrigued by this, the woman asks, "What does it do, Mr. Bond?" "Well you see," said Bond, "it uses Alpha waves to telepathically talk to me." "I see," said the woman, "and what's it telling you now?" "It says you're not wearing any knickers..." Bond says. The woman giggles and says, "Well it must be broken because I'm afraid I'm wearing knickers!" 007 taps his watch and says, "Damn thing must be an hour fast!"

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Ross Perot are on a ship when it is sinking. Perot orders for all women to head for the life boats. Bush says screw the women! Clinton says "Do we have time?"