Men And Women jokes

Jokes » men and women » jokes 145

Men And Women


blonde's backseat
 
 
A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at 'Lovers' Cove' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.

'NO!' yelled the blonde.

The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again.

'NO!' the blonde yelled again.

Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.

'Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?' asked the guy.

'For the last time, NO!' said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, 'Well, why the hell not?'

The blonde looked at him and said, 'Because I wanna stay up here with you.'

small things
 
 
Q: What three words mean small?

A: Is it in?
clinton and the beer cans
 
 
Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, "There's one thing I want you to know. There's a box under my bed and I don't want you to look in it until I die."

Hillary agreed to this but, over the years, the curiosity got the better of her and she finally looked in it. She found three beer cans and 1.5 million dollars in cash.

When she asked Bill what the beer cans were for, he replied, "Well, those are for all the times I've cheated on you."

Hillary said, "Well, that's not bad after all these years and you being a politician and traveling and all."

She was about to leave, but then she said, "Hey, Bill, what about the 1.5 million dollars?"

Bill replied, "That's for all the times the box got full and I had to cash the cans in."
everything you always wanted to know about sex
 
 
How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!

What's the definition of a teenager?
God's punishment for enjoying sex.

Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
They'll never see you coming.

What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.

What does Kodak film have in common with condoms?
Both capture the moment.

Define Transvestite:
A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary!

Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each other's shoulders?
A scrotum pole!

What's the ultimate in rejection?
When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Why don't debutantes go to orgies?
There'd be too many thank-you notes to write.

What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?
'How come?'

What is every Amish woman's private fantasy?
Two Mennonite!

Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.

Can you say three two-letter words that denote small?
Is it in?

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One... Men will screw anything.

Page 146 of 229     «« Previous | Next »»