Men And Women jokes

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home now Mother of Six?"

His wife, finally fed up with her husband, shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"

A blonde was out on a date.

Her date said you have something on your cheek. So she wiped it off.

Then her date said, "No, the other side."

So she reached into her mouth and wiped the other side.

Little Johnny was in class when the teacher asked, "Three birds are sitting on a telephone wire, a hunter shoots one. How many are left?" "None," he says "if ones shot the others would fly away." "Actually", said the teacher "the answer was two, but I like the way you think." The next day Johnny walks over to his teacher in the cafeteria and asks, "Do you see those three women over there on the bench? Which one isn't married, the one eating the cookie, the one eating a sandwich, or the one sucking on a popsicle?" "Hmm, the one sucking on a popsicle?", the teacher asks" "Actually" said Timmy " it was the one without a wedding ring, but I like the way you think".

A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but found it to be occupied.

The stewardess noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and had a look of pain and anxiety on his face. "Sir," she said, "the ladies' restroom is unoccupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He was about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified by the letters: "WW", "WA", and "PP", and there was one red button labeled "ATR."

Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn't just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the "WW" button. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him. The men's restroom didn't have nice things like this.

Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the "WA" button. Warm air replaced the warm water, wafting and swirling about, gently drying his underside. He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the "PP" button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies' room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender, loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did, he pushed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy.

He knew he was in the hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face.

"What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies' restroom on a flight to Atlanta!"

"You pushed one too many buttons," replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. "That last button marked "ATR" is an automatic tampon remover. Your penis is under your pillow."