Men And Women jokes

Add the beds, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and I'll multiply!

Why do women have legs?

So they can get from the bedroom to the kitchen!

One day three men were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but couldn't figure out how to cross it.

The first man prayed to God saying, “Please God, give me the strength, courage and ability to cross this river.”

Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God saying, “Please God, give me the strength, courage, and ability to cross this river.” Poof! God gave him the skill to chop down a tree and fashion it into a rowboat; he was able to row across the river in about three hours.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two,so he also prayed to God saying, “Please God, give me the strength, courage and ability to cross this river.” Poof! God turned him into a woman, and he walked across the bridge.

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon arrival the doctor said that he had invented a machine that would transfer a portion of the labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the knob at 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to bump the machine up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20%. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At 50% the husband was still holding up fine, since this was obviously helping out his wife he encouraged the doctor to transfer all of the pain.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were absolutely thrilled. Everything was great until they got home and found the mailman dead on their porch.