Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


fatty mcvirgin
 
 
What's the difference between a fat woman and a virgin?

A fat woman's trying to diet, and the virgin's dying to try it!

men are like wine
 
 
Men are like fine wine: They all start out as grapes, and it is your job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd want to have with dinner
you can take it with you
 
 
There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. He told his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!"

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied,

"Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

12- pack
 
 
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, 'Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.'

The son then asks his father, 'What's the 6-pack for?'

The father replies, 'Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.'

Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, 'Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....'


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