Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


rent
 
 
A man decided to spend the night with a prostitute. When it was over she told him to pay $500. He said he'd send it to her in an envelope marked 'Rent for Apartment.' The next day, however, he regretted that he spent the night with her and sent only $250. When she wrote him a letter asking why he didn't pay full price, he wrote her a memo saying:
1. I thought the apartment had not been used before.
2. It did not have adequate heating.
3. It was too large to properly furnish.

A few days later the prostitute sent him another letter saying:
1. You should have known the apartment had been rented previously.
2. The apartment did have adequate heating. You just didn't know how to turn it on.
3. The apartment was the perfect size. You just didn't have large enough furniture to fill it.

laugh lines
 
 
Man to wife: 'Boy, you are getting old, look at all the wrinkles you are getting!'

Wife: 'They aren't wrinkles, they're laugh lines!'

Man: 'Nothing is that freakin' funny!!'

anniversaries and toilets
 
 
What do anniversaries and toilets have in common?
Men always miss both of them.
give me a double
 
 
So this guy walks into a bar and says, "Gve me two beers."

The bartender obliges him.

The guy looks into his wallet and says, "Give me two more beers."

So the bartender gives him two more beers. The man went on like this until he had put down ten beers, and keeps on going in his wallet and asking for two more beers.

So the bartender asks, "What's in your wallet that you keep looking at?"

So the man opens his wallet and says, "The more I drink, the prettier my wife gets."


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