"Daddy, the cat died today!"
"Well, darling," said the dad. "That's just something that happens."
"But why are his arms and legs up in the air?"
"Well, darling, that's just something they do." She takes the death fairly well and doesn't mention it until a few days later. When the dad comes home, she runs up to him.
"Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I came downstairs and I heard her screaming 'Oh Jesus, take me, take me!' And she had her ams and legs up in the air and if it hadn't been for the mailman tring to revive her she would have died."
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time.
No one moves.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Iron this."
So every day the husband would get home at 5 o'clock, and every day they would go to bed at 5:15. In the door at 5, in the sack at 5:15. This went on for months, never missing a day until the wife came down with the flu and went to the doctor to get a flu shot.
The shot killed all the germs inside her except for three, and these three germs were huddled together inside her body talking over their survival plans.
One germ said, "I'm going to hide between two toes on her left foot, I don't think the antibiotics will find me there."
A second exclaimed, "I am going to hide behind her right ear, I don't think they'll find me there."
The last germ said, "I don't know about you guys, but when that 5:15 pulls out tonight, I'm gonna be on it!"
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