Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


oreo psycho-personality test
 
 

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:

1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverish nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreos.

Your Personality:

1. The whole thing - this means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.

2. One bite at a time. You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's OK, not to worry, you're normal.

3. Slow and Methodical. You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with every thing you do to the Point of being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if you're only going to go the speed limit

4. Feverish Nibbles. Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental break downs run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good.

5. Dunked. Every one likes you because you are always upbeat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations in to good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.

6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie. You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal,behavior.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie. You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's OK, you don't care, you got yours.

8. Just the cookie, not the inside. You enjoy pain.

9. I just like to lick them, not eat them. Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help- immediately.

10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies. You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to up-scale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prima donna. There's just no pleasing you.

women & alcohol
 
 
Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of estrogen. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive...
psychology co-ed
 
 
Have you heard about the blonde psychology major working her way through college as a prostitute?

For fifty bucks, she'll screw with your mind!

why coffee is better than women
 
 
  1. You don't have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste good.
  2. Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream in it.
  3. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.
  4. You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.
  5. You can always warm coffee up.
  6. Coffee comes with endless refills.
  7. Coffee is cheaper.
  8. You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM.
  9. Coffee never runs out.
  10. Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.
  11. You can make coffee as sweet as you want.
  12. You can smoke while drinking coffee.
  13. You can put out a cigarette in a cup of coffee.
  14. Coffee smells and tastes good.
  15. You don't have to put vinegar in your coffee.
  16. If your coffee pot leaks, you can use a regular paper towel.
  17. You can always get fresh coffee.
  18. You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it'll be hot when you get back.
  19. They sell coffee at police stations.
  20. You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.
  21. Coffee goes down easier.
  22. If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on weight.
  23. No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.
  24. A big cup or small cup? It doesn't matter.
  25. Your coffee doesn't talk to you.
  26. Coffee smells good in the morning.
  27. Coffee is good when it's cold too.
  28. Coffee stains are easier to remove.
  29. Coffee doesn't care when you dunk things in it.
  30. Coffee doesn't care what kind of mood you're in.
  31. Coffee doesn't shed.
  32. Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.
  33. You can't get a cup of coffee pregnant by putting cream in it.
  34. Coffee doesn't mind being ground.
  35. No matter how bad coffee is, you can always make it better.
  36. Coffee doesn't have a time of the month... it's good all the time.
  37. When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.
  38. When you have a coffee, you don't end up with a pube in the back of your throat.
  39. Coffee doesn't take up half your bed.
  40. Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have a cup.
  41. INSTANT COFFEE!
  42. You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee.
  43. It can take up to 2 weeks for coffee to grow mold.
  44. Your coffee won't be jealous of a larger cup.

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