Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


speaking man-ish ii
 
 

A WOMAN'S GUIDE
WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING
WHILE SHOPPING:

YES, THAT ONE'S NICE.
Why do you ask when you aren't going to listen anyway?

THAT ONE LOOKS GREAT ON YOU.
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

I LIKE THAT ONE BETTER.
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

UH-HUH.
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

Zzzzz Zzz Zzz Zzzzz . . . . . . . .
Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

I DON'T THINK THAT BLOUSE AND THAT SKIRT GO WELL TOGETHER.
I'm gay

IT MAKES YOU LOOK FAT.
I'm really stupid!

why do men float?
 
 
Why do men float better than women?
Because they're scum.
uncle tommy's closet
 
 
A guy comes home early one day from work. And he hears weird sounds coming from his bedroom. When he gets to his room, he finds his wife naked on the bed sweating bullets.

'What the hell is going on?' he says.

'I'm having a heart attack!!'

So he runs down stairs, and picks up the phone to dial 911. But as he is doing this, his four-year-old son, comes running up to him and says, 'Dad, Uncle Tommy is up stairs, hiding in your closet, and he's naked' So he slams the phone down, and runs upstairs, to find his own brother, in the closet.

The man, then says. 'What the hell are you doin? My wife is having a heart attack, and your here running around naked, scaring the kids? You shoud be ashamed of yourself!"

hey baby, you looking for a...
 
 
Why do they put guys in road construction?

So girls get the chance to whistle at guys on the streets.


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