Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women

old people get it on
Two elderly folks in a nursing home wanted to get married. Their doctor found out about this and took each one into his office seperately to try and talk them out of it. First he called in the woman and he told her that the man had already had two heart attacks and was very unhealthy and could die at any time. She told the doctor that she didn't care and she left. Next, the doctor called in the man and told him that the woman was suffering from acute angina, and he said, 'I know! I peeked.'
twist again...
It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. At the front door Peggy Sue's father answers and invites him in.

'Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?' he says.

'That's cool.' says Bobby.

Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they are planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's father responds, 'Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.'

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby and he says, 'Whaaaat?'

'Yeah,' says Peggy Sue's father, 'Peggy Sue really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!'

Bobby's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear as he mentally revises the night's plans. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door while Dad is saying, 'Have a good evening, kids!'

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her father: 'Dammit, Daddy! The twist! It's called the twist!!'

who's the real boss?
A newlywed couple had just arrived in their honeymoon suite. After unpacking, the husband took off his pants. 'Put these on,' he said to his wife.

She did and they were nearly twice her size. 'There's no way I can wear these. They're too big,' she said.

'Good, now you know who wears the pants in this family.'

Flustered, the wife takes off her panties and gives them to her husband. 'Put these on,' she commands.

The husband looks at the small pair of panties and says, 'There's no way I can get into these.'

To which the wife replied, 'You're right about that until you change your attitude.'

minnesota women
Q: Why don't they let Minnesota women go out with Wisconsin guys?

A: Have you ever seen a gopher hole after a badger has been in it?

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