Men And Women jokes

Between 16 and 26: Tri-weekly
Between 27 and 46: Try weekly
47 and up: Try weakly

A man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally sawed off all ten fingers. He quicky rushed to the emergency room. The doctor there told him, “Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do'.”

“But I don't have the fingers!”

“What! You don't have the fingers!?” said the doctor, “You should have brought them to me. We have all kinds of operations we could have done like microsugery and stuff. We could have put them back as good as new.”

“But Doc, I couldn't pick them up.”

The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed and she seemed rather bored.
"What do you wanna do now?" he asked.
"I wanna be weighed," she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. Next they rode the roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton candy.
"What else she would like to do?" he asked her.
"I wanna be weighed," she said. I really latched onto a square one tonight, thought the young man, and decided to take the girl home. The girl's mother was surprised to see her home so early.
"What's wrong, dear, didn't you have a nice time tonight?"
"Absowutewy wousy," said the girl.

A man comes home from work and sits in his recliner in front of the television.
"Hey, wife!" he yells. "Gimme a beer before it starts!" She gives him his beer. Fifteen minutes pass.
"Hey, wife!" he yells. "Gimme a beer before it starts!" She gives him his beer. Five minutes pass.
"Hey, wife!" he yells. "Gimme a beer before it starts!"
"Hey, you've already had two beers in twenty minutes! Don't you think that's a lot? I'm not getting you another!"
"Now it starts."