Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


men and computers
 
 
How are men like computers?

They don't work until they're turned on.

working relationship
 
 
A guy wakes up one morning with a hangover. 'Honey, I know I made a fool out of myself at the party last night, so tell me what I did.'

'You got in an argument with your boss.'

'Well, piss on him!!!' said the man.

'You did. He fired you.'

'Well, screw him!'

'I did.' said his wife. 'You're back to work on Monday.'

elementary, my dear jerkface
 
 
Sherlock Holmes and Watson were walking through a park, when they passed three women, eating bananas.

"Good evening, ladies," said Sherlock. After they passed, Watson asked if he knew those women.

"No, Watson, I didn't know that nun, prostitute, or bride." Baffled, Watson asks how he knew their identities.

"Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun was eating the banana by breaking it into small pieces. The prostitute was shoving the banana into her mouth. And the bride was holding the banana with one hand and forcing her head down with the other."

screwed, for sure
 
 
Once a lady wanted to leave the U.S.A. but couldn't get a visa. One day, she met a man who told her not to dispair.

"l'll let you sneak aboard my captain's ship and take you to France, but you have to screw me every time I bring you food, okay?"

She accepted, and for about three months the guy brought her food and water and then she screwed him. This went on for about 3 months, at which point she was discovered by the captain. The captain asked what she was doing and she said a man was taking her to France if she screwed him every time he brought her food.

The captain replied, "He sure is screwing you - this is the New York Ferry."


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