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"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."
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They sit down at a table and the husband gets up and goes to get drinks for himself and his wife. While he's gone a man walks up to Joe's wife and tells her he wants to turn her upside down fill her with beer and drink her dry.
Joe's wife exclaims, "You sick pervert! Get out of my sight!"
Joe returns and his wife tells him what happened and asks him to go kick that guy's ass. Joe says, "No way. A guy who can drink that much beer has got to have a pint on me!"
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'Brothers and Sisters, I also understand that there have been some he'n and he'n goin' on. Those who are guilty, leave my presence.' So some embarrased men exited the church.
'Brothers and Sisters, I also understand that there have been some she'n and she'n going on. Those who are guilty, leave my presence.' So some women got up and exited the church. The preacher looked around and the only one left in the church was a little boy sittin' in the front pew. The preacher walked up to the boy.
'I would like to commend you for being such an upright, loyal Christian.'
'Hold up now preacher. If you had gotten down to some me'n and some me'n, I'd have to get up and leave too!'
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